At this point in my You coulda had a bad witch shirt, I don’t have any answers about romantic relationships. I haven’t for a while. I have too much anxiety to get that close to someone. I don’t feel like I made it totally clear, so “yes, I can relate.” I was gaslighted by my parents, my extended family on both sides, a professional mentor, a cult, and childhood bullies. I was also sexually, physically, and emotionally abused by these people (not all sexually abused me). Codependent relationships are a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person’s drug addiction, alcoholism, gambling addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.
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You can get help from people like You coulda had a bad witch shirt– those who have gone through it and those who have done study about gaslighting, abusive families, and so forth. Other people can only emotionally support you, and you may want to let them know you don’t want advice. There’s a ton more I could write, but I’ve done a lot and my arms. If you have any questions in comment or PM, I’m glad to answer them. It’s nice to talk with someone who gets it.